My Birth Story

It’s been two months since Baby Fox was born. It’s been a long (but fast!) time, with some sleep deprived fog and my tired body healing from a C-section. People can try to prepare you with their words of wisdom for what life will be like with a newborn, but nothing can truly prepare you for what comes until you are in the thick of it yourself. It’s surreal and crazy and beautiful…and I am just grateful to God that we are getting to experience one of life’s biggest moments.

After being diagnosed with placenta previa, we knew we were having a C-section, which I actually preferred and wanted. Until the very end of my pregnancy, my placenta didn’t move much. However, a few short weeks before birth, it migrated enough that we could have switched to a regular delivery. Since our family members had travel plans already in place for our scheduled C-section date, we knew we would just keep the delivery date as is. Our surgery was scheduled for a Monday morning, so the weekend before, we went to a wedding and I felt great. We ate, danced, and had a good time with friends. The next day, however, my best friend took me out for a pedicure and I wasn’t feeling well at all. In fact, we had a brunch scheduled before pedi’s, and I had to cancel because I felt so awful. I sucked it up and made myself go get a pedicure, since I didn’t want scary-looking feet in the delivery room.

That night, I could barely walk. The pressure the baby was putting on my organs made it nearly impossible to go to the bathroom or walk normally. I laid on our media room couch and watched the Conor McGregor fight on PayPerView, but my heart was skipping beats and I was having difficulty breathing normally. I went to bed that night feeling terrible and unable to get comfortable. By the next morning, I knew something was up.

Looking back, I didn’t realize I was in pre-term labor. I told my husband we couldn’t go to church that day because I felt so badly. Then…the pain started. I began having indescribable pain that seemed to quicken every hour. We went to the hospital to see what was happening. They did a cervical check (which is the most medieval, torturous thing ever in my opinion,) and I was barely dilated, so they sent us home. To be honest, I was pretty relived, since I needed to take a shower and wanted to be clean and presentable before giving birth the next day! We got home, and between the worst contractions on earth, I showered, washed and dried my hair, put on a little self tanner, did a light face of makeup, and got dressed. (I was too vain to go back to the hospital looking like I’d just rolled out of bed.) And then we went back to the hospital…because I KNEW this baby wasn’t waiting until our scheduled C-section time.

After about an hour of laying in a holding room in labor and feeling like my insides were going to explode at any moment, they finally took me back for surgery. (I’d been begging for drugs to ease the pain, but they recommended against it before having my spinal administered.) My doctor was not reachable, so they sent for a doctor on call and brought me back to the operating room for my spinal. The moment that sweet, sweet anesthesia took over, I was finally out of pain for the first time in over 24 hours. And I basically fell asleep! I vaguely recall my husband coming in with his scrubs on and sitting by my head, and seeing some bright lights. I could hear noises and people talking, but my eyes were so heavy that I couldn’t keep them open.

One thing I vividly remember from this moment was seeing my late grandparents. I had very clear visions of them; it wasn’t sad or scary, it was very comforting and peaceful. I remember asking God to let our son be filled with the Holy Spirit from his first moments on earth, and seeing my grandparents around me. And then Fox was born.

I didn’t really get a memorable look at our baby when they first took him out because I was so heavily drugged. I recall my husband crying a little and telling me how cute he was, and they laid him on my chest for a few moments before taking him away and sewing me back up. I have a few precious photos of this moment. (Fun fact: the swaddle he is in for these photos belonged to my grandmother.)

I won’t get into all the details of what happened next, but about an hour later, I had a violent reaction to the spinal and my blood pressure and heart rate went haywire. I developed a fever and had to stay in recovery for what felt like forever. It was about five hours until I was able to hold my son, which was disappointing and frustrating. I couldn’t believe that after such a smooth pregnancy, my delivery had become such an ordeal! I was put on extra fluids and antibiotics, which made me verrrrry puffy and tired. But I was finally able to rest, hold our little Fox, and thank God for a healthy, beautiful boy.

After going through this process, I’ve learned from almost every Mom and Dad friend that I have that it’s not unusual for things to deviate from your birth plan. In fact, it’s pretty rare that it goes the way you think it will. I listened to a podcast by Risen Motherhood about this very thing, and it’s really comforting to know that our plans aren’t always God’s plan. All that matters is what He wants, and we can rejoice that everything is under His control…as hard as that can be sometimes. To all the parents who had hard, shocking, scary, surprising, and loooong deliveries, my heart goes out to you. We were fortunate to have both sides of our family with us to celebrate the moment and adjust to this overwhelming change. Having a baby is one of those beautifully scary things in life, and I feel closer to God because He chose to give us this little guy. I pray he grows up to follow the Lord in all he does. 🙂

Practical things I learned from this experience: if your body is telling you something is up, get it checked out. Don’t wait. Ask lots of questions when you’re at a hospital…ask what meds they are giving you and why. Don’t be afraid to tell people you need some alone time when you are recovering. Give yourself some time away from social media if you want. The world will keep spinning if you don’t post a newborn photo immediately, and you’ll likely be too exhausted to respond to all the comments. The fluids they give you after a C-section will bloat you beyond belief…and yes, it takes about three WEEKS for all the swelling to go down. Be prepared to cry…your hormones are a wreck, which is normal and okay. Crying in a hot shower can make a world of difference in how you feel the rest of the day. And don’t turn down dessert…you have time to lose the baby weight. Enjoy a brownie!